More Cuteness

Not the stripped belted onesie thing. But the kids. Especially the one with the hat and tiny little blue pants. I want to make them all sack lunches, take them to the park, and watch them play with puppies.

How to Make Your Child Hate You

These outfits are fugly as sin but these kids are so freaking adorable. The ones holding hands? So. Cute.

The Age-Appropriate Series

Quiz #5:




Circle the sweater that is age-appropriate. This one's a little trickier than the others...

The Age-Appropriate Series

Quiz #4:



Circle the sweater that is age-appropriate.

That kid clearly does not want to be wearing this thing.

The family that wears matching sweaters together ... looks ... really stiff and uncomfortable ... together.

The Age-Appropriate Series

Quiz #3:



Circle the sweater that is age-appropriate.

The Age-Appropriate Series

Quiz #2:



Circle the hat that is age-appropriate.

(Yes, both are super fugly. Humor me.)

What Are They Being Punished For?

What could these children possibly have done to deserve this? Just look at that multi-colored thing with the green collar. Is this Hell for toddlers? Is this what happens to little girls and boys who don't share their toys or eat their vegetables? It's Red Heart too so all of that stuff is made with their horrible, itchy acrylic yarn. Yuck.

The Age-Appropriate Series

Quiz #1:



Circle the sweater that is age-appropriate.

Of course, after I post about yet another racist knit pattern, I find this being sold on eBay. "A gift for mother's loving fingers"? Yes, give your child the gift of racism. That's cool. And the person selling this apparently doesn't get that this 'toy' is fucked up. The ad merely states:

An adorable knit doll to make in an evening or two!!!"

No one bid on it. Whew!

What a shame. Ever since Nancy walked in on her son Jack wearing her good heels and red satin dress she's really been pushing the gender roles. She's even been knitting words like "boy" and "tough" and "not a sissy" into his clothing. We finally had to say something when we heard her whisper, "Remember: chicks not dicks, Jack" while dropping him off at school one day.

What the hell? I think maybe it's supposed to be some kind of little jester outfit but it just looks like a blown up stick of cartoon dynamite.

Well, good thing s/he's too young to ever be able to remember this.

"Uhh... dude?"

"Yes, Billy?"

"Uhm, I don't want to, like, freak you out or anything, but..."

"Yes? What is it, Billy?"

"Well, don't look now, but there's a puppet on your shoulder."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF! I HATE MARIONETTES!"

"Oh, and could you stop calling me Billy? It's creepy. And my name is Chris."

Why would you do this to your child, your very own flesh and blood?

Unless the rest of your family looks like this:

and you just want her to fit in. That I could understand.