knitlisted

Team Knitlisted

2009-03-16T16:49:00.003-04:00

Well, Fug-lovers. As you can see, Knitlisted hasn't been updated in a long while. I know, I know. It's just that there's so much to do and so little time.

That's why it's time to build Team Knitlisted. If you'd like to join Team Knitlisted and be a regular contributor of fug, e.mail knitlisted@gmail.com for more info.

Hot Mess of the Week

2009-01-22T11:29:00.000-05:00

Is that... what? A naked woman walking into a pond to take a bath? Really? Am I really looking at knit butt cheeks? This is definitely a first for me.

Still Not Working

2009-01-18T11:28:00.000-05:00

Nope, the Mona Lisa won't help either. You're still wearing a hideous sweater.

Even Art Can't Save You

2009-01-17T11:24:00.000-05:00

Yeah, put Michelangelo's David on an ugly over-sized knit sweater... that will totally class it up.

Hot Mess of the Week

2009-01-16T14:06:00.002-05:00

For this week's Hot Mess we're dipping into the archives.

Really Bad Idea

2009-01-14T00:48:00.000-05:00

This comes from a book of knitting patterns for "real women." You know, women who actually have curves like we're supposed to. Somehow this cow-print tank just doesn't seem appropriate here. The model was probably like, "WTF? Seriously? You guys are assholes..."

Uhhmmmm...?

2009-01-10T13:53:00.000-05:00

What? What is going on here? Is that a man-brooch in the shape of cowboy boots? I'm so confused!

Hot Mess of the Week

2009-01-08T18:59:00.001-05:00

Meet Pocafugas. Every single thing about this hot mess is so wrong.

More Cuteness

2009-01-06T13:08:00.000-05:00

Not the stripped belted onesie thing. But the kids. Especially the one with the hat and tiny little blue pants. I want to make them all sack lunches, take them to the park, and watch them play with puppies.

How to Make Your Child Hate You

2009-01-05T13:04:00.000-05:00

These outfits are fugly as sin but these kids are so freaking adorable. The ones holding hands? So. Cute.

Hot Mess of the Week

2009-01-01T13:28:00.001-05:00

Introducing the first Hot Mess of the Week for 2009! Every week we'll showcase one super hot mess and at the end of the month you'll get to vote for the hottest hot mess.

Attack of the Pompoms

2008-12-31T19:05:00.000-05:00

Rainbow Brite Grows Up

2008-12-30T19:01:00.000-05:00

And gets sexy.

Hemorrhoid Coat

2008-12-29T13:26:00.000-05:00

Nooo! An entire coat made out of bobbles!

Sexy Granny

2008-12-28T13:20:00.000-05:00

Oh, gross. A dress with granny squares as the mid-section? That is just not okay.

Here's a close-up of the fuggery:

Kelpy

2008-12-27T11:26:00.001-05:00

The sweater would be ok. I guess. But then they went and tied it up with some seaweed. Why?

2008-12-26T11:28:00.000-05:00

Every pillow you should never knit all on one couch.

What the Fug?

2008-12-25T11:24:00.000-05:00

Take an ugly chunky sweater, turn it inside out and you've got a "fabulous confetti sweater"! So bobo.

2008-12-24T11:22:00.000-05:00

What's not to love about a brown mock turtleneck knit onesie?

2008-12-23T11:20:00.001-05:00

Slice Her Up

2008-12-22T11:18:00.002-05:00

And serve her with some vanilla ice cream.

There Are No Words

2008-12-21T10:49:00.000-05:00

...to describe the awesomeness of this photo.

2008-12-20T10:47:00.000-05:00

They just had to add the ribbed shorts...

Pirate Fashion

2008-12-19T10:41:00.001-05:00

Just Say No, Matey.

Eyes Up Here, Buddy.

2008-12-18T11:48:00.000-05:00

2008-12-17T11:47:00.000-05:00

Eye'm Watching You

2008-12-16T11:46:00.001-05:00

So creepy! I wonder if anyone ever made that.

101 Sweaters

2008-12-15T10:25:00.002-05:00

You Should Never Knit

The Age-Appropriate Series

2008-12-13T13:23:00.000-05:00

Quiz #5:

Circle the sweater that is age-appropriate. This one's a little trickier than the others...

You Lookin' at My Scarf?

2008-12-12T13:14:00.002-05:00

Who would walk around wearing this? She looks like she has boxes on her hands. Can you visualize her swinging those things around while she walks? Though I would never tell her that. She looks like some pissed-off chola who would pull a knife out of her giant chunky pocket scarf and slice your face off in a second.

I Like To Be Warm

2008-12-11T13:12:00.001-05:00

But only certain parts of me, you know?

Are Those Mittens?

2008-12-10T13:09:00.000-05:00

Why are they so short? Do they have thumbs? Are they finger cozies or something?

Oh, it's just the collar of that jacket. Silly me!

Far from Foxy

2008-12-09T13:07:00.001-05:00

2008-12-08T13:06:00.001-05:00

When Wool Becomes Fur...

2008-12-07T13:03:00.002-05:00

...you become Cookie Monster.

Party Time

2008-12-05T11:13:00.003-05:00

Some of Mon Tricot's 80s knit patterns are just pure gold. Like this amazing confetti, neapolitan ice cream looking . . . thing.

Fur Balls Part II

2008-12-04T10:35:00.001-05:00

I found another one...

How Not to Take Pictures of Your eBay Item

2008-12-03T09:17:00.002-05:00

Lesson #1:

Steady your hand by setting the camera on the table. It's okay if everyone looks pear-shaped and has huge feet. Just lay the item down and shoot away!

This Halloween evening gown is by far my favorite.

Gorilla Arms

2008-12-02T09:13:00.001-05:00

Why?

Why would you want your arms to look like they're covered in popcorn? Or like you just had a really unfortunate and inexplicable knitting accident and broke both of your arms?

I Know What I Want for Christmas...

2008-12-01T11:03:00.002-05:00

My toilet paper needs that poodle cozy.

Kelp Flops

2008-11-30T12:33:00.007-05:00

"What a fun, funky way to use up any leftover Crystal Palace 'Splash' yarn you have" and look like you walked into the ocean with normal flip flops and came out with sea gunk all over them.

CA02RF Knit Pattern Rabbit Fur Balls Scarf = Beige

2008-11-29T02:14:00.007-05:00

That's the title of the eBay listing. If that's not enough to send you scrambling for your credit card:

No? Still not sold?

I don't understand. Why aren't you buying this right now? Do you know what it's made of? Well, besides fur balls. "Acrylic and Cotton Blended (Cashmere Feel)" It feels like it's made of bunny fur! And it has bunny tails on it. You need this.

Scary Scarf

2008-11-28T10:30:00.000-05:00

Sorry about the image, this was the best I could get. What a bobble mess. It looks like some creepy arachnid laid eggs all over this scarf. I get grossed out just looking at this thing.

Interesting Choice of Model

2008-11-26T10:49:00.003-05:00

In Case You Were Wondering...

2008-11-25T10:54:00.000-05:00

What Not To Stuff Your Loved Ones' Stockings With This Year,

Let me introduce:

The Age-Appropriate Series

2008-11-24T11:27:00.006-05:00

Quiz #4:

Circle the sweater that is age-appropriate.

World's Most Versatile Scarf

2008-11-23T13:08:00.003-05:00

Wow! Look at the many different ways you can wear this scarf. Over your shoulders, over your head, OR over your head!

(Silver head beads sold separately.)

OMG, Her Dress Totally Needs Proactiv

2008-11-22T10:41:00.011-05:00

When the first thing that comes to mind is "acne" ... it's time to re-think your pattern choice.

(Baby bobbles, argh!)

Best worn with this hat found over at You Knit What - Part 2:

Long Time, No Post

2008-11-22T10:20:00.004-05:00

But, I'm back with lots more fuggery and knit messes. Like this:

Shouldn't a hat cover your ears? And, it has bobbles and a pompom. Oh, bobbles! Ok, they're actually not that bad in this case, but still. I've been emotionally scarred by bobbles and it's just kind of hard to deal with...

Sargeant Knitty

2008-07-18T01:16:00.002-04:00

2008-07-18T01:15:00.002-04:00

Because what woman doesn't want to look like her poodle?

2008-07-18T01:14:00.001-04:00

I . . . kind of want that dress.

2008-07-18T01:13:00.002-04:00

Suddenly I'm in the mood to decorate some Easter eggs and eat buttermints.

Oh God This Is So Ugly

2008-06-23T00:45:00.001-04:00

My eyes are bleeding.

2008-06-23T00:42:00.002-04:00

I'm getting a sugar rush just looking at this.

2008-06-17T23:27:00.002-04:00

"Oh - hi, Rose! Come on in. We're just chillaxin. With our football player."

Julie Andrews?

2008-06-12T19:59:00.004-04:00

Is that you?

2008-06-12T19:59:00.003-04:00

'Nuf Said

2008-06-12T19:57:00.002-04:00

Reader comment:

She's anti-...nothing?
A non-activist?
I don't get it.

2008-06-10T07:35:00.001-04:00

Most amazing bangs, ever.

2008-06-07T12:46:00.003-04:00

That kid clearly does not want to be wearing this thing.

Another Way To Shill Yarn

2008-06-07T10:34:00.003-04:00

Here's yet another gem from the folks at Berroco.

Birch is a quick and easy vase project, made by simply wrapping a glass container with yarn.

Because you really need instructions on how to wrap a bottle with yarn. And because you really need a fucking bottle wrapped in yarn. And for those who are truly intrigued by this "project" they've included a close up:

So you don't have to hurt your brain trying to imagine what yarn wrapped around a bottle looks like.

Size 8000 Needles

2008-05-27T23:46:00.002-04:00

Yes...

2008-05-14T07:52:00.001-04:00

That's a knit cowboy hat.

2008-05-14T07:50:00.002-04:00

2008-05-09T07:52:00.000-04:00

It was the height of the Star Wars craze.

Meet the Frump Sisters

2008-05-09T07:51:00.000-04:00

2008-05-09T07:50:00.000-04:00

2008-05-06T18:20:00.001-04:00

2008-05-04T21:32:00.001-04:00

2008-05-04T21:31:00.000-04:00

Yo, Bitches.

2008-05-04T21:30:00.001-04:00

We're the Knitta Gang. We will fuck you up with some pointed needles, aight? So just do not fuck with us.

2008-05-02T07:41:00.000-04:00

2008-05-01T22:17:00.001-04:00

2008-05-01T22:16:00.000-04:00

Balls

2008-05-01T22:15:00.000-04:00

2008-05-01T22:14:00.000-04:00

The Torso Samba

2008-04-11T08:14:00.003-04:00

They may not have legs but these women know how to cha-cha like nobody's business.

2008-04-11T08:11:00.002-04:00

"Hey, Sweet Tits. Check out these lovely little lumps."

Fair Isle Overload

2008-04-08T20:21:00.004-04:00

2008-04-06T23:13:00.002-04:00

2008-04-06T23:12:00.002-04:00

2008-04-06T22:59:00.001-04:00

2008-04-02T22:50:00.003-04:00

Men's sweater with "Hey, baby. Check out my chest hair." flap.

2008-03-30T15:37:00.003-04:00

The family that wears matching sweaters together ... looks ... really stiff and uncomfortable ... together.

Oui, Oui

2008-03-30T15:33:00.001-04:00

Je suis classy, non?

2008-03-28T23:11:00.007-04:00

This is a trend that clearly transcends eras though I have no clue why.

2008-03-28T19:39:00.003-04:00

Because sometimes a girl just really wants to look like a snowball.

2008-03-28T19:37:00.001-04:00

World's Fugliest Pants

2008-03-27T14:11:00.004-04:00

Introducing:

2008-03-25T21:24:00.003-04:00

Princess Leia and the Pullovers

Fuzzy Wuzzy Was A Bear ...

2008-03-25T16:12:00.004-04:00

... Fuzzy Wuzzy Had No Hair - because this bitch stole it.

2008-03-25T16:06:00.001-04:00

A Bobble Fugstravaganza!

2008-03-25T14:55:00.006-04:00

2008-03-24T09:46:00.002-04:00

Why?

2008-03-24T09:44:00.003-04:00

Fug Bags

2008-03-23T19:01:00.003-04:00

Yee Haw!

2008-03-18T20:15:00.004-04:00

That's right, vermin. Let this be a warnin' to ya. If ah sees y'all messin' 'round these parts, you'll end up right here on this sweater with the rest of 'em.

(OMG is that fucking Pocahontas in the background?!)

The Age-Appropriate Series

2008-03-18T19:58:00.003-04:00

Quiz #3:

Circle the sweater that is age-appropriate.

The Age-Appropriate Series

2008-03-16T23:56:00.005-04:00

Quiz #2:

Circle the hat that is age-appropriate.

(Yes, both are super fugly. Humor me.)